Wednesday, October 12, 2011

this is a vent...

If your reading this... this is NOT directed to you.....

I hate you... i hate you i hate you... YOU have done nothing but make our life harder then it should be. I dont need the added stress and thats all that you have caused... you should have been done and over with almost 5 yrs ago... why cant you just do what you need to do and leave... I hate you.

Sunday, October 09, 2011

the rules of MS..

Whats sucks about MS is there is no rules. MS can come and do as it pleases and you cant do anything about it.
As far back as i can remember MS has always been there. There wasnt tests for kids back then and it wasnt as popular as it is now.  When i was little i was always tired, In school i was never able to ran as fast, or be as active. Highschool, Haha that was a joke.  I was always made fun of and i knew i couldnt do as much as the other kids in gym.

Lately i have been very agitated, and my leg is not cooperating. To kind of tell you what it feels like.. it feels like that in between feeling after coming out of the dentist office and the novacaine is wearing off. Its numb but if you but all touches send pain. You can tell its there... but you cant feel.

These are the days that i wish MS had rules. That i could just say hey wait.... thats against the rules try again!  But no... I cant. it gets to do as it wants..  I need to go back on my meds and i will soon but until then ms is winning. Also there is no garuntee that if i do go back on meds that this will go away.  This could stay forever and i would be stuck with it. To give you a glimpse of my life.

I cant take baths because i cant pull myself out of the tub. I have to hold on when i take showers because i have bad balance. I take multiple meds a day.  I see multiple drs, and have tons of tests done. I cant work out like i want to. I have tons of energy but yet i know if i do it i will pay for it the next day so i try to save all energy for the kids.  This may be a whine fest post but ya know what.. this is my life.. this what its like... and unfortunetly there are no rules.